Stuck.

I'm in the library now and the rain is bloody heavy you'll be drenched just by looking at it, and the possibility of one getting struck by lightning is as high as estelwen.
In another words, in order to prevent myself from getting soaked in rain and falls sick again, or get barbequed before Soo's birthday party, I'm officially stuck in the Jurong Library.

Did I mention my mum spent $48+ to "compensate" for a VCD she returned which was announced to be broken into half? It was perfectly okay when she returned it but she was then told it was spoilt, it would cost $60+ but since it was her first offence they charge her $48+, which is complete sh*t. You mean it's negotiatable?!
Where is the proof that my mum broke that VCD into half, and which cartoon VCD in the world would cost as much as 2 DVDs?!
Jurong Library is now deemed totally crap in my opinion by taking advantage of a lady who was left on her own then and doesnt know much english.
We've sworn not to borrow any VCDs from any libraries.

Anyway,time to slap myself and start to study eh?
Time is running out. Especially when my school position is like, 60th%?
Sigh.
Been thinking lately there's really nothing I can do except go university, and the school fees then is another issue.
My cousin who's younger by 1 year is doing part time and doesnt take pocket money from her mum anymore, like what my sister did since she was Sec 4.
Which makes me totally useless by still taking money from my mum eh?
But who in the right mind would go part-timing when in J2? It's like suicide, especially when I am not the brightest person around with maths and chemistry and chinese and everything else.
And what am I doing on Good Friday? Sleep, laze around, go read comics and play Gunbound. Damn myself.
Hohoho...I was inspired by Shaman King when I was re-reading it that day. I totally appreciate the main character's attitude. Never force yourself to do anything which is not your style. 船到桥头自然直. Because it's such a difficult thing to remain true to yourself eh? So the more you should never bend your own principals.

Reminds me of a favourite song by Jacky Cheung:
微尘
张学友
曲 词:古倩敏
编:赵增熹

熙熙攘攘 忙忙碌碌
从没有时间把我脚步来看清楚
醉了又醒 醒了又醉
哭完又笑 笑完了又会哭

多少问题的答案是说不出
不知寻到是苦恼还是幸福
明知是梦却依然那样投入
光阴无情的巨轮谁又挡得住

山河大地本是微尘
何况是尘中的尘
是是非非 情情爱爱
你还要不要紧紧的抱着
舍不得 放不开

山河大地本是微尘
何况是尘中的尘
想要解脱 想要受缚
就凭你一颗心去判夺

谁在纳闷 谁在快乐
谁来受生来病死 又会谁来成佛
身如泡沫 如何寄托
心念如电如何去探索

山河大地本是微尘
何况是尘中的尘
是是非非 情情爱爱
你还要不要紧紧的抱着
舍不得 放不开

山河大地本是微尘
何况是尘中的尘
想要解脱 想要受缚
就凭你一颗心去判夺

You wanna be tied up by yourself, or do you wanna grab some freedom. Caution: for both, a price has to be paid.